Pepper is an actual monkey.

Many people unfortunately are unaware of the fact that Pepper is an actual monkey, most people are foolish enough to believe that he is only a simple computer generated model of a monkey.  Some people even believe that ace Hyphen One himself downloaded this model off of a site and fabricated dozens of pictures of this monkey with historical figures giving no to credit the original maker of the model (which is quite illegal under current day United States copyright laws).  Simply put all of these statements are false, slanderous blasphemes spread about to make this decent honorable monkey look bad.

In reality Pepper is an extrodinary immortal primate who roams the earth with one single goal: unite the nations of earth and bring peace to its people.  In order to achieve such a goal he's spoken with world leaders, done battle with hideous beasts, and became a national icon and symbol of AHH.

One day I was sitting at a local diner finishing up my 12:17pm Coke when a small monkey only a few feet high came up to me and sat down.  At first I was a bit alarmed, unaware of the predestined event that was unfolding before my eyes.  Pepper said, "Hello ace Hyphen One, I am Pepper."

I was instantly charmed by the adorable talking monkey and quickly offered him a coke.  Pepper said, "Like the millions of others, I am aware of and frequent your marvelous homepage.  I was wondering, can I become a business partner of yours to increase the number of lives that  I brighten with my loveable face?"

I said, "Yes."